Labour...

I've been thinking a lot about this labour and although am feeling very excited, I'm also feeling quite apprehensive because a large part of me is convinced I'm going to end up having a caesarean. Now, they're not all bad and if I need it, I need it. We have friends who just swear by them but I really, really, really want a natural birth (never thought I'd hear myself say that!). The caesarean thing is not least because of the healing afterwards, but because I want that feeling of 'he's finally here!!'. And I actually really enjoyed labour with Josiah. Not that I was probably thinking that at the time! But it's the excitement of it. 

The day I went into labour with Josiah, Debbie & I went to Mothercare to pick up a baby bath. A newborn baby was there and was screaming the place down which made me feel like contractions were starting. They stopped about twenty minutes after we got out! I had heard that could happen so we made a hasty exit so I wouldn't go into labour in the shop!! I had a headache that started after that which lasted all day, I popped a couple of paracetamol, had a nap, tried everything to get rid of it and nothing worked. I lasted 40 weeks without a headache! I rang the labour ward as I was worried about pre-eclampsia and they told me to ring back in two hours if it hadn't stopped. Lo and behold, that appeared to be the start of labour because that night the contractions started for real!

Cannot wait to see how this one turns out....

22 & 23 weeks...

I haven't updated recently because...well, I forgot, quite honestly. Not doing well in the brain department recently. It appears I currently just had thin air inbetween my ears!

By 23 weeks, Nugget The Boy is about 500g  (just over 1lb!). But who knows with this one. My kids don't follow the norm with regards to size. Ha! About the length of a ruler (crown to rump), his hearing is established and around now he may be able to make out a distorted version of our voices, the beating of my heart and my stomach rumblings. Pleasant thought. He reacts more to deeper voices (aka Daddy). When our little one is born, loud noises he has heard in the womb (washing machines, Hoovers etc) may not bother him. I know the hoover and hair dryer used to send Josiah to sleep instantly. It was BRILLIANT. One morning, I was trying to get him to sleep but annoyingly left it 'til he was overtired and he couldn't settle, even though he was frantically rubbing his eyes etc. So I switched on the hair dryer and he was asleep within seconds. In addition to advances in our baby's hearing, his lungs are developing to prepare for breathing. And as he gets bigger we may be able to see him squirm underneath! In fact, this morning, i turned over in bed and it appeared that he was turning round or something like that because a limb of sorts (maybe even a head or a bottom!) suddenly stuck out! It was the weirdest thing and caused John to exclaim, 'but that isn't supposed to happen for weeks!'. Certainly brought back memories of lying in the bath when I was expecting Jo and seeing many different limbs being poked through my tummy.

21 weeks...

And I feel great! Had a bit of a fright on Saturday morning as I hadn't felt the baby move since Thursday night. I've been feeling movements for a good few weeks now and every day at that, so I knew it was unusual. My midwife told me to just pop into the PRUH so they could listen out for the heartbeat, which initially they couldn't find. Cue slight panic. They changed the doppler, and still couldn't find it. Cue more panic. Then they found it and it kept disappearing. It was appearing then disappearing exactly like the last time I was in hospital so I felt a bit sick then! So the midwife called a doctor in who grabbed a scanner and came to find Nugget. And lo and behold, there he was, fine and dandy, kicking away, heartbeat going strong and stretching his limbs all of the shop. The way my placenta is positioned means sometimes, the baby kicks into that instead so I can't necessarily feel it. The disappearing heartbeat was just because he's so active and not yet as big as he would be.

The wonderful thing now is that he is moving constantly. Or rather I'm feeling him move constantly! Which is very reassuring. Also have noticed since yesterday this child has an incredible amount of hiccups. I remember with Josiah, I actually used to really worry about the amount of hiccups he had and the length of time too. Amusing. While I'm sitting here, Nugget is pounding my insides and I am all warm and fuzzy! On average the baby is roughly, in total, about 30cm long. His eyebrows and eyelids are fully developed and his fingernails now cover his fingertips. He's now at the fun stage where he can hear everything we say! Now is the time to start favourite stories and songs!

Going through an immense insecurity patch. Don't even ask. Absolutely crazy paranoid about everything. So glad I have such a fabulous husband to pat me on the head and say 'yes dear' when I need it!

20 weeks...

That's weird. Where did this week go!? Must've been asleep for most of it! And also...

There's only 20 weeks left of my pregnancy! Oh wowza.

This week our little wonder is growing his own unique fingerprints! His organs are maturing and he's plumping up, so his overall growth rate has slowed as his energy is used in this new direction. He, apparently, according to baby websites, weighs about 260g now (but who knows with this Nugget!?) and measures around 15-17from crown to rump (or about the height of a standard can of beer!). Changes in the digestive system mean that our baby can now start to take in some amniotic fluid, which can set off bouts of hiccups.

Now, I don't remember this at all in my pregnancy with Josiah and obviously not in my last one as I didn't get this far, but I cannot describe how tired I am. I appreciate that I have Josiah to run around after now but he has a good nap (which admittedly I don't always take advantage of)  and it's not like we have a manic life. I did read that there's no way you can take in all the minerals and vitamins you need in pregnancy without overeating so I guess I should probably stock up on some iron. Example; Wednesday night, I had to excuse myself from group and was in bed at 7:30pm (not before asking John to come home early from work because I couldn't stay awake, however much I tried), I slept from 8pm til 7am and still woke up feeling like I needed another five or so hours. This little one must really be doing a lot of growing!

A Father Writes ...

Today's news (not 100% it goes without saying blah blah blah disclaimer) is that Baby is a ... Boy! For those of us who had predicted this some time ago (eg me) this news will not come as a surprise, but is welcome nonetheless.  There is a fairly good chance that this will be the last baby Stevens.  Here follows John's Pro and Con analysis of Baby Stevens being of the male persuasion:

Pros:
We don't have to buy any new baby clothes.
A chance to have the first set of brothers to play together for Kent since 1990.
We can play Headers and Volleys.
Another lad for our Stevens and Hurst trips to watch Bromley play in years to come.

Cons:
It doesn't look like I'm going to get a daughter to say "Daddy, my Daddy" as I dismount from the train.

19 weeks...

We are officially halfway there! I say officially, according to baby websites. I thought pregnancies were 40 weeks but whatever.

Measuring about 16 centimetres, it will be interesting to see how much the EFW is tomorrow as the average is 240g at 19 weeks. The baby was 230g 3 days into 18 weeks! We have a scan to measure the fluid in my tummy and my cervix again tomorrow. Nugget is swallowing amniotic fluid, and their kidneys continue to make urine. Hair on their scalp is sprouting, too. Sensory development reaches its peak this week. The nerve cells serving each of the senses – taste, smell, hearing, seeing and touch – are developing in their specialised areas of the brain.

Cupid...

I'm not going to gush much because it's quite frankly annoying. But I cannot believe how much I love this growing child within me already. I am so, so, so excited to be carrying this little one, and I feel exactly like I did when I was expecting Josiah. Except less anxious about what's to come because, well, we've done it before! I look forward to every single antenatal appointment, not least the scans fairly obviously. 

Can't wait to meet this cherub!

18 week scan...

This morning we had a family trip to the sonographer! Great fun it was. Josiah caught a bug on Sunday so hasn't been too well since then therefore Mummy only had about 8 hours sleep in 3 days. Felt like I was going a bit mental. However, the one morning we had to get up early (appointment at 8:40am) Josiah slept wonderfully and didn't wake up until 7:40am.We were called in at 8:40am on he dot. I like early appointments! We asked Josiah where the baby was and he pointed to the screen and grinned wildly, then pointed to my tummy then to his tummy. That kid is hilarious. Nugget played peek-a-boo quite literally for while, as if there was a twin in there, with their legs clamped shut so the sonographer decided my bladder wasn't full enough to see much of the baby or my cervix so we were sent away to 'top up' for half an hour.

I saw an abbreviation called EFW on my report. I googled it and it stands for Estimated Fetal Weight. Well. 18 weeks the baby is on average 190g. Now I appreciate that EFW is ESTIMATED but our not so little Nugget's EFW is 235g. At 19 weeks, the average EFW is 240g. So. We have a fast growing one in there!

Because it's still quite early to tell, the sonographer (who was jolly good I must add) only hazarded a guess at the sex of the baby. It started off as one sex but towards the end she said she was now nearly sure of what it was. We'll know for sure at our 5th December scan! But it's VERY interesting. We'll tell you if you wish to know!

Flu...

Those who know me well will be aware of my fear of needles. It's not a major fear, like spiders or heights, but it's there, most certainly. So imagine my surprise today, when I took Jo to the doctors to get him checked out (had this chesty cough for over a month now, turns out it's not an infection but it all boils down to his ears -cold weather etc. Poor poppet.) and I thought, while I was there, it would be a good plan to book my physio and flu jab. The receptionist told me to ring on Friday to speak to the doctor on call to arrange physio and would I like to take a seat, the nurse will do the jab now. So, desperately, I tried to assure her that it wasn't urgent and I would call to arrange an appointment in the not so near future. She glared at me, told me it was overdue by a month anyway and that the nurse would be with me shortly. And so she was. 

Jo sat opposite me and I grinned like a cheshire cat as if everything was all rosy. I grabbed his hand and clenched very tightly, totally forgetting it was my two year old child not my husband.

And then it was over. It stung though. But I was a brave soldier. Yay me.

18 weeks...

We made it! And we're feeling great. Starting to feel the baby move a lot more now too, though it still suprises me.

We have another growth scan on Wednesday morning which the three of us will go to as last time, it was just me. This is to check the cervix isn't shortening and that the baby is growing as he or she should. It's a strange feeling that this stage in April didn't happen as we expected...when Emmanuel was born, he only weighed 100g which correlates to 16 weeks. Still very perfectly formed which makes those scriptures all the more true. 

Great English there. 

At 18 weeks, the baby is expected to be about 190g. I'm officially in the fifth month of pregnancy, just a couple of weeks away from the half way mark. The baby crown to rump is roughly 6 inches and can now feel and hear. His chest moves up and down to mimic breathing. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit!

Keep growing Nugget!

Feelings...

I have yet to post a bump photo - I shall endeavour to get one up sharpish. Anyhoo. I just wanted to very briefly mention that on Saturday (or Sunday depending on whether you talk to my doctor or sonographers), I shall be 18 weeks. And yet, there appears to be no feelings of fear or anxiety. Just pure excitement! Seriously, virtually beside myself. Can't wait to be 40 weeks. Although, I am quite anxious about the labour as I really don't want a C-Section (why have the NHS now said women can request them!? Madness. If you're too posh to push, you shouldn't be having a baby anyway. 'Nuff said.) I just feel a bit funny about the impending birth but I think it's mainly because of things our consultant said might be a possibility. Not certain. Though I should just stop talking because God has quite clearly been in control throughout this pregnancy and has blessed us so much, why am I doubting His presence during labour!?

Josiah and I had a lovely time this afternoon. He's very keen on his potty currently, so we are sitting on the off chance he performs which he has done on occasion (cue much applause!) and while he did so, we were looking through the photo albums of when he was very new. I'm glad I took lots of bump photos while I was expecting him because he got to see scan photos of him in my big tummy! It's a precious time at the moment.

Heartburn...

Forgot about this treasure of pregnancy (note the cynicism). The feeling that the acid is literally burning a hole in your oesophagus. Not pleasant.

How low can you go...

I was going to put a picture of a wrist up here, but I decided that wouldn't be very loving to my husband.

I have very low blood pressure. Only in pregnancy does it get lower than usual and I conveniently keep forgetting this fact. So when I come over all woozy and nauseous, I wonder why, panic-strickenly (yes, another made-up word) ring my mum and ask her if I've got pre-eclampsia, she asks how much I've drunk today. Then I tell her, 'oh about two cups of teas and a glass of water'. There is your answer. Drinking increases your blood volume which is why if you do have low blood pressure, you are encouraged to drink regularly. 

In fact, after I came out of surgery in April, my blood pressure fluctuated up and down so much in the space of two hours (every reading had a difference of, on average, 8) and at one point got so low, I passed out. Thankfully, I was lying down. 

I'd rather this than high blood pressure so it's a blessing in disguise!

On the up...

It's been a good week; I'm back on tea and sleeping! Aside from Friday night, when Josiah weirdly woke up at 11:30pm and didn't get back to sleep til 3am. Four hours sleep. All training I expect! I thought I was back on the tea a while back but it alas still repulsed me. I was pushing it. But this week has bought lovely cups of tea and 17 weeks in, I am now a regular drinker again. YAY! This has been the usual time in my pregnancies it seems. 

So that's nice.

We have another growth scan on Wednesday 16th bright and early, just to check lengths, sizes and such like. Last time, I had a male sonographer which worked out well because it wasn't an internal as was booked! A little nervous about that one. I think the sort of scan is entirely dependant on the length of the cervix. So if it seems to be an OK length, they will scan purely from the outside. You catch my drift without having to go into immense detail. There are men reading this after all.

Josiah saw a tiny baby earlier on. He pointed at the baby and then pointed at my tummy! We haven't said anything. He's just a genius.

17 weeks...

This little cherub is a real wriggle pot! While I am sitting here typing this, Nugget is pounding my insides like he's playing a xylophone. Not even joking. John, the clever lad that he is, found the heartbeat last night (along with the more than frequent bop from his unborn child), now averaging about 150bpm.

My mum took my blood sugar reading tonight which was a nice 4.8! So, so far, nothing diabetes like lurks in the shadows, bless God.

Nugget is between 11-12cm long now and as we know, stretching their arms and legs! His skeleton is mostly rubbery cartilage, but will start to harden as the weeks go by. A protective substance called myelin slowly begins to wrap around his spinal cord. Sweat glands are starting to develop all over his body.

We had our midwife appointment on Wednesday, Jo sat at the kiddies table in the room very well and looked very excited when he heard the heartbeat. Not entirely sure he had any idea what it was. But to help him with the understanding, a little later on, we will stick the doppler on his chest so he can hear his heartbeat and then find his brother or sisters one! We're not planning on saying much until January...though I know he knows something because he's being very affectionate with my tummy! And tells me the baby is in there...or in my boob.

Dressing up...

I was having a good old natter with Anna, which we do very well I have to admit. We were reminiscing about our memories of the days immediately after having our children and how we felt et cetera. One thing we both remembered, and I'm glad she did too because I thought it was just me all this time, was all these midwives and seasoned mothers telling us that we shouldn't get dressed in the days after giving birth, that we didn't need to make an effort for anybody, that it's OK to not get dressed until 3pm. Fair enough. That may work totally fine for some people! But to ask first time mums 'your body's essentially just run a marathon, why would you get dressed?' in what seems utter disbelief when first time mums are very vulnerable at this point and will cower to anything anyone says (for the most part at least) irritates me a lot and quite frankly, I don't think its fair. Answer: 'because it makes me feel good!?' I don't understand how people feel comfortable saying things like that to others. For first time parents especially, people push their ideas on parenting or how to treat yourself after giving birth in a big way. Still, it's individual for everyone. I know for me, I couldn't wait to have a lovely, hot shower, wear something nice and feel normal again! 

Admittedly, walking to Tescos the day after giving birth for the first time probably wasn't the greatest plan. Genuinely thought I was going to die by the time we got to the end of our road. And I didn't have a shower (at home obviously) or get dressed until after the first midwives visited on the Sunday after I got back from the hospital. We had one friend who came to visit and looked at me as if I'd got a screw loose when I offered a cup of tea. They were obviously only looking out for me but I want people to be treated nicely and have a drink if they want to! Jesus would after all.

It's going to be very interesting this time around!

16 weeks...

We're 16 weeks! The size of an avacado or about 12cm long, crown to rump. He can even make a fist and punch his way around my insides. It feels like time is going a lot faster now, though John disagrees and says it's taking too long to get to 20 weeks. I have my midwife appointment next week, the baby is moving around quite a lot though I don't always feel them. Only if I'm very still and lying down/sitting a certain way! And their heart is nice and strong. Averaging 153 bpm...yes, an old wives tale it seems but it could be a boy (doctors only claim they know if it's a boy or girl from the heartbeat much later on in the pregnancy). Time shall tell! December 5th is our 20 week appointment, when I shall actually be 21 weeks but apparently that doesn't matter. Other than that, all is fantastic so far except I am currently having some not very nice dreams about bleeding a lot, which I think is a subconcious worry as we're coming up to 18 weeks...anyway, we shall pray before sleep tonight and let God make it all better! My legs are quite painful after a long time of being active but rest helps it an awful lot so I'm thankful for that. Best book that physio I s'pose! 

15 weeks...

No, I have no idea what a navel orange is either? Attractive sounding as it is.

So, fifteen weeks! Time has suddenly sped up. My tummy has grown two inches in two weeks. There's a piece of trivia you always wanted to know. The past week has brought much joy but also some discomfort in that my legs/hips are extremely painful right now. It varies day to day though certain positions have me howling in pain. Like tonight, I lay on the sofa so we could hear Nuggets heartbeat (which lovely and strong! All the while they were trying to bat away the doppler with what I can only imagine was an actual cricket bat) and almost cried trying to get up. John is currently acting as carer, bless his heart. Still haven't booked physio, I will get there this week! Mrs Bloom tells me it's not my coccyx as previously thought but something that sounds a lot like sacrilegious. I don't remember. Still. So that will be sorted but an item for prayer as usual.

Funny moment at the cervical scan yesterday; on the report the sonographer had measured the baby's limbs etc and noted FL (fetal length): 14mm HC (head circumference): 104mm (or something to that effect). I grew ever concerned and rang him after my appointment. He laughed and claimed that after 13 weeks, they stop measuring the fetal length and instead measure the femur length. So I am not growing a teeny tiny baby with a freakishly large head but a well proportioned Nugget who is about 10cm long right now (crown to rump). Our tiny tenant frequently gets the hiccups, which babies learn to do before breathing. Babies don't make any sound because their windpipe (trachea) is filled with fluid rather than air. 

Growing very strong and sounding very happy, God is doing wondrous things in my tummy!

Brie...

Thanks to the lovely lady at Morrisons who ran around finding about their cheese, I had some brie today! I was SO excited. Pasteurised brie with French bread...it was pure delight. My one thing I'm really looking forward to having post pregnancy is pate. Pate and French bread. Or pate and bagels as my sister-in-law introduced me to. THAT is a good lunch.

A friend of ours is coming down for our god-daughters dedication this weekend and he runs a cheese shop in Chester. Sadly, he was lacking in pasteurised soft cheese but promised dairy goodness on his next return down south. This was before John, Ross, and Tom along with a bunch of others started a tirade of cheese based jokes. It was so funny I could barely brieth!

(Sorry for the plagiarism there Tom D).

I heart baby #3...

The excitement of this baby feels a lot like our first pregnancy. Admittedly, there is the occasionally blip where I let fear get in the way but that's to be expected. The majority of the time is filled with pure peace and joy. Especially today, when we had our consultant appointment, she decided to check the heartbeat as we couldn't get in for a scan. She warned us that it was still very early to try to listen in for one but it's not impossible, she hears. So out comes the doppler and the jelly and away we go. It took a few minutes to find it (my blood makes a very loud whooshing sound) but there it was, the unmistakable sound of our little babes heartbeat! I was so unbelievably excited, Josiah and John looked on in amazement and the doctor was as chuffed as we were to hear it. She announced proudly that it was the earliest heartbeat she'd ever heard (apart from her own baby, which she heard at 11 weeks by a very old doctor!). So we are now waiting for a phone call for a cervical scan (sorry for too much information there!) which has to be slotted in for this week. We have our next one at 18 weeks. This is just to check that the cervix isn't shortening in any way and to make sure that there's no contracting going on that shouldn't be.

The other great news was this: while I do still have a heart shaped womb, the septum is only very minor and as I have already carried a baby full-term (and over!) and he was a (very!) good size, they aren't as worried as they would be if this was my first. If the septum was quite deep, they would have picked it up on my previous scans.

When we got home, I brought out our doppler that we hired to see if I could find Nugget. And low and behold, there he was!

So all in all, a great morning!

Names...

We have chosen our names! The name we were initially going to go for, should we have a little boy, is now up for grabs again. We decided that even though the meaning of Elijah was beautiful, we would have called them Eli for short and the connotations aren't great to be honest. Most people choose names because they sound nice, and I originally did too. But since having Josiah, I've realised the importance that your name has in your life. You are who your name is essentially. Josiah means 'fire of the Lord' which we thought was pretty awesome. And he came out with red hair. And he loves to worship. His whole demeanour changes when he does. And he loves being around prayer. Coincidence? I think not.

I'm not going to announce the names on here until the baby is actually born, obviously. But you can have the meanings and try and work it out yourself. Our girls first name means 'from the house of God' and their second name means 'mother of all nations'. The boys first name means 'God has remembered' and their second name is a short variation of a name which means 'let God be praised'.

Happy researching. Ha ha ha.

14 weeks...

I am 14 weeks pregnant! Yay. Ignore the ticker above. It doesn't know what it's talking about. Though apparently neither do I. I read the scan doobrywotsit wrong when I text our mums' and I was actually 12 weeks 2 days not 12 weeks 1 day. But what is a day between family.

We are now in our second trimester! Nuggets' crown to rump length is about 3.2 to 4.5 inches long and he weighs approximately 1 ounce now, about the size of the average fist. When I read up on my week by week, it says I might start wearing maternity clothes now. HA! That amused me.

Cool things of the week: the baby has eyebrows but no eyelashes and fine, light hair is beginning to grow. The hairs grow in whirled patterns that follow the grain of his skin. These patterns later give way to our baby's fingerprints. Nuggets' thyroid gland has matured and starts to produce hormones. If our baby is a boy, the prostate will appear and the ovaries descend from the abdomen into the pelvis in baby girls. 

I am most definately looking pregnant now, not just pudgy. I never lost my tummy from the previous pregnancies anyway, but thankfully, I now have a bump! All of a sudden. 

Lovely!

Results day...

We just got the results from our combined nuchal scan on Monday. I had bloods taken for a more accurate result which had to be sent to St Barts Hospital for testing as they don't have that facility at Sidcup like they do at Kings'. So there was an advised wait for up to three weeks. And we got it within the same week! So that was a lovely surprise.

And the results, drum roll if you please:... a 1 in 6,600 chance of Downs/any Trisomies (sp?)! So we thank God for this wonderful result.

And I have also gained 3lbs which I know for a fact is not me, but baby. My appetite has decreased dramatically and I have all of a sudden become repulsed by certain foods. And I don't know what they are until they are right in front of me. I find it helps a lot if I don't cook it. Ha! I'm not joking either.

Between 12 and 13 weeks...

...Nugget grows 4.5 centimetres! How awesome is that? No wonder my tummy is feeling stretched beyond all reason. I initially thought it was the infection, which is probably was, but now that is clearing up nicely I feel all nice and pregnant. 

It's such a peaceful pregnancy, this scary infection aside, we're so thankful - and for now, I shall stop gushing.

Introducing Nugget...

This is a picture of our cute as a button baby. As soon as the doppler hit my tummy, they threw their bottom in the air followed by their legs! This picture shows their teeny tiny fingers right by their eye.

How precious!

13 weeks...

I'm not going mad, fear not. 

I just had an ultrasound. Nugget is very jumpy and full of beans, just what we liked to see. The heartbeat was 171bpm which, according to some means it's now pointing towards a boy (the faster the heart rate, the more likely it's a boy though most doctors won't claim this until the third trimester! This also does not mean you are right though Husband).

The shocking news is that I'm not at 11 weeks 1 day like I thought but I am 13 weeks tomorrow! Which puts us in a bit more of an urgent position to have our nuchal scan next week instead of the week after. It also means that our due date will be the day after my cousins wedding...eeek! Well. Who knew?!

The baby is in the right hand side of my womb which is great news (more space!) and is 7cm long! Their legs look very long which is amusing as I really do not have such. Their fathers' child.

Photos to come.

Third labour...

I don't really know whether to class this as my third labour or not...I'm going to say yes because I had to endure the contractions, the waters breaking etc. It was about 10 hours in total. So, I saw an article on Bounty.com while I was looking up our 11 week wonder called, 'Are 3rd Labours Harder?', so I looked. And I am very pleased with the majority of the responses to this as 95% of them are a resounding NO!

11 weeks...

Being in double digits makes it feel even more official! I do love it. This week our baby is starting to suck her thumb for comfort! How sweet is that!? The baby is about 4cm long right now and has all her parts, from tooth buds to toenails and her fingers and toes have fully separated. Nugget is busy kicking and stretching. Her movements are so fluid they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as the body grows and becomes more refined. 

I bought Josiah some Pringles today as they're half price in Sainsburys and as most of you know, he loves to trough those things. Well. As most of you know, so do I and we love the sour cream and onion ones. Except today, as we were walking around Sainsburys' I kept getting whiffs of the Pringles as Josiah was eating them and I had to ring John to distract me from heaving all round the shop. It's quite sad though my waistline probably doesn't think so. This is the only food item I've gone off. I've gone off all drinks (aside from fresh orange juice) including water. It has taken me a week to decide what I want to drink and when I finally got it, it made me sick. It's pants really. Still, I'm doing well with my water!!

Peace....

I mentioned before that God has given both John and I immense peace through this pregnancy. This, sadly, doesn't mean that I am immune from sometimes looking too much on Google/getting medical opinions from various people and therefore working myself into a stressful frenzy. In fact, this week, I convinced myself of the worst so much, I booked a private scan for today. But, lo and behold, God, as He has a tendency to do has given me a fresh batch of faith and confidence in His power and now I feel full of peace and quiet all over again, mentally slapping myself for forgetting just how much He carried us through such a difficult time, so why would I now not be full of faith?! 

Silly woman.

10 weeks...

We're getting there! Two weeks to go until we begin the second trimester. Or unless you are writing the Bounty pack book that I just got in my pack, three weeks and six days. Stoopid.

This is a link to a fantastic website which I have directed you to previously. It has all the weeks videoed in utero. Astonishing really. Apparently, between 9 and 10 weeks, there is a growth spurt which increases the baby's body weight by a whopping 75%.

Measuring 2.7-3.5cm our baby has reached the point this week beyond which most birth defects that can affect major organs would occur. From now on Nugget's main occupation will be growing and gaining weight. He currently weighs 3-4g! Yet he can exercise his arms and legs already and all the webbing has gone from his fingers. His eyelids are now formed, although they'll soon fuse shut and remain that way until some time between weeks 25 and 27. His sexual organs are now complete, as are his ears and upper lip. 

It's weird knowing that it's already a boy or a girl. Fascinating.

Booking Appointment...

It was a little different this time around. I saw two wonderful midwives who were absolutely fantastic, and made me feel so at ease. I feel very posh because I have a consultant who will see me through this pregnancy as well as a midwife who will be the same all the way through too, so no chopping and changing. Mrs Omar, who was the consultant that performed my ERPC and saw me through my post-natal-ness previously, will be examining me at 16 weeks and checking all is going as it should be. She will scan to see how my uterus is looking and where the baby is growing. The very interesting thing I found out today was this: when I was in labour with Josiah, he was sideways and didn't turn until the very last minute (literally, he only turned when I was 10cm dilated!) This was purely because of the shape of my uterus, so he couldn't turn because there wasn't space! I'm going to ask for a copy of my notes because there seems to be a lot of interesting stuff going on in that big fat file! Anyway. As I said before our 12 week scan is at Queen Mary's in Sidcup - this is because they've changed contracts. I feel a bit sad that we're not going to Kings anymore but onwards and upwards yadda yadda.

Oh and also, apparently I'm 10 weeks tomorrow not Thursday! It just keeps getting better!

Not again...

It appears I'm prone to infections in pregnancy! Weird as I never had one at any point with Josiah. But I'm told that every subsequent pregnancy can heighten the risk even more of contracting them. Who knew.

It's annoying having to be aware of checking constantly and booking doctors appointments purely to be swabbed, but it's certainly a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things I guess.

Anyway, I am about to be off for my booking appointment so I shall leave it there. I love booking appointments; it always seems to make it more official!

Emmanuel...

Monday 26th September would have been the due date of baby Emmanuel. I don't want to dwell too much on this but it feels appropriate to make a small mention. While I wouldn't wish what we went through on anyone, I am thankful and grateful to God for bringing us through that time, for surrounding us with our wonderful family and friends who blessed us so much and who gave us so much encouragement, who allowed us to cry, shout or laugh if we wanted to and who never ceased to stop praying. 

It's been a tough week or so. What with hormones on top of mourning, it's been a bit hairy! I've been feeling quite guilty for grieving over Emmanuel as much as I have while I am carrying our new gift from the Lord and I'm struggling to understand that it's OK to do so. He has his timings and we can really see His hand over this pregnancy and this time. I've been really surprised at how emotional I have been about this as I hadn't even thought about the dates, it just all came on very suddenly. But then God has given us this time to grieve and heal. When Nugget makes his or her appearance, we will be healed, revitalised parents who can give testimony to God for his goodness.

We are thankful for the time we had with Emmanuel and, of course, will always love and cherish him...now we can be excited that he is with Christ and praising Him!

Aiden Naude...

Our friends Louis & Jeanre have just had their little baby boy, bang on dates! Aiden Naude 

came into the world this morning at 3:43am, weighing 3.82kg (which John and I reckon is in the 

early 8lbs). He looks just like Zavier did when he was first born. We pray God's blessings upon 

them at this brilliant time and are so thrilled for them.

Maternity clothes...

I've been wearing maternity clothes for a few weeks mainly due to comfort for my ever expanding waistline (three pregnancies in less than three years apparently does that. Imagine.) but today I wore my white linen trousers (which I fitted in fine on Sunday) and it was a real struggle trying to do them up! I appreciate baby has a growth spurt about now but really. All good signs I guess!

9 weeks...

So aside from tiredness, I am feeling superb! Sickness has virtually disappeared. Although I am very, very stuffy which has been pretty grim. My colleague is about ten weeks ahead of me and said she has only just got rid of her stuffiness so...I can only hope! Doctors have stopped giving psuedoephedrine (which is in Sudafed) to pregnant lasses so that's out the window and saline spray just ain't happening. So I am working my way through about three loo rolls a week just on my nose. Had my first pregnancy migraine yesterday; that wasn't pretty. Thought I'd gone blind.

Nuggets' webbed fingers are well formed now, and her toes are beginning to take shape. She even has her own unique fingerprints already. Ankle and wrist joints are developing, too, as well as sexual organs. Our baby measures around 2.3cm from crown to rump and is beginning to resemble a human more and more closely. She currently weighs around 2g. Now that our baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain. And the bits that make them a boy or a girl are starting to form too! It is terribly exciting.

12 week scan...

We got the date for our scan today: Monday 10th October at 9am so if you could remember that date in your prayers we would be grateful. Not that we're expecting anything other than very exciting things! But we want to make sure the appointment is covered because, well, that's what God wants too.

And weirdly, instead of being at Kings as usual, we've been sent to Queen Mary's in Sidcup. So that shall be interesting. And a rip off too, instead of £1.50 per scan they charge £3. I mean, seriously.

Guess what...

I've gone off tea!! Well, I really thought this day would never come.

Hormones...

I have been very hormonal in this pregnancy. As in VERY. I'm grateful John finds it amusing but the smallest things really bug me! Like at work; I'm the No.7 gal so I was trying to sort out the new plan for the make-up and skin care. It wouldn't fit like it should and I got so frustrated I yelled at our security guard who was making 'helpful' suggestions. He then laughed because it was a complete overreaction. But you catch my drift. It's like a whole other pregnant-zilla takes over!

Due date...

Officially, the baby's due date is Thursday 19th April 2012. 


Just in time for Allsorts...HA!


Oh and also, I am convinced this little one is a baby girl. Guesses on a postcard!

8 weeks...

This has been the LONGEST 7 weeks of my life! Well, not quite. But it's taken ages to get to where we are now it seems. Today is a milestone at 8 weeks because 70% of miscarriages happen within the first 7 weeks - following that the chances lessen each week. So bless God for that! This time also marks the end of the embryonic period.

Many changes take place in our nugget now, who currently measures about 1.6cm. His embryonic tail is just about gone, and all his organs, muscles and nerves are beginning to function. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. Nugget's hands now bend at the wrist, and his feet are starting to lose their webbed appearance. His eyelids cover more of his eyes and tastebuds are forming on his tongue. I found this incredible link to videos in utero. It really makes you marvel at God's creation: 8 week baby.

Enjoy!

Morning sickness...

Apparently, what I complained about in my last two pregnancies wasn't morning sickness at all. It was just hunger pangs that made me feel icky. It appears that morning sickness is what I am experiencing this time around; a feeling of motion sickness. It's horrendous. Not all the time, some days are better than others, it comes and goes in waves but I kind of wish I could have the hunger pangs back please!

Telling family...

So, now all our immediate family know they have a new grandchild/great grandchild/niece/nephew on the way. Apart from the kiddies, that would be a wait for them. Talk about longing it out.

I have to admit, it wasn't at all how I imagined this pregnancy to be announced! My family just guessed. Literally. Apart from the Dad's, but they don't have mothers/sisters/grandma intuition. Apparently, all my sisters and both mum's do! Oooh. Part of the reason for my SIL's guesswork was my eagerness on this blog as I updated the profile not realising it updated on ALL of my blogs.

Still, our desire to have another was no secret so nobody was surprised but they were very happy!

I love it!

Weird pregnancy fact of the week...

The baby is about the length of a Tic Tac and about as heavy as an eyelash!

We saw our little Tic Tac today; and the little flicker of their heartbeat. A lovely sight. I'm actually two days out would you believe. Don't understand how that worked out but there we go. So I'm 7 weeks on September 1st! Lovely jubbly.

7 weeks...

Although it doesn't sound very far, I'm 7 weeks already (33 to go!). It seems like an age to us as I found out very early (as in before 4 weeks - weird, never done that before!). I had a few panics on and off but then a wave of peace flows over me and a confidence in God knowing that He is over all. He has ordained this child for His time which is, quite frankly, jolly exciting. And in human terms, a little bad timing as it's my cousins' wedding a week before I'm due over in Cambridge. The other awesome thing is this; this baby that is being knitted together in my womb, ready to live out God's plans and purposes, is due a year & week to the day that we lost Emmanuel. I was a little down for a few months everytime I found I wasn't pregnant but His timing is the greatest. And in the past couple of months, there has been such healing and such joy God has granted us, that this pregnancy alone is testimony to that.

Metal mouth...

I feel as if I have one of the above rammed in my mouth. I finished a course of antibiotics on Friday and one of the side effects of taking these tablets is a funny metallic taste in your mouth. Kind of like if you've just had a swig of milk? Or something. Anyway, this should have subsided by Sunday but alas, it hasn't so I imagine this is a new symptom and one I've never had before! Grim. Still, shan't complain. This is a happy pregnancy!

18 week miracle...

When I was expecting Josiah, we went to Soul Survivor with our youth at church. I was nearly 18 weeks pregnant at this point. One evening, during worship (we were singing Healer at the time) I felt my tummy get hot. In fact, it was radiating heat. John felt it and looked a little shocked. I was starting to think I should visit St Johns Ambulance as that can never be normal! But we figured God was doing something and didn’t think anymore about it. But it was weirdly hot.

A while ago, we had a forerunner from the World Trumpet Mission come visit BTC called Nicodemus. Lovely man, had a fire for God like I have never seen. Repeatedly told us he loved Jesus, he was so cute you could just put him in your pocket! Probably shouldn't say that about such a man of God. But that’s an aside. He preached one Sunday and God spoke to both John and I that day; when we got home we were discussing this. That time at Soul Survivor and the heat radiating from my stomach suddenly came to my mind. Then God revealed something; I was at the gestation that we lost Emmanuel. He was changing the shape of my uterus to allow Josiah to grow into the bouncing boy we eventually welcomed into the world! How awesome is that!? Even more awesome, is that due to the shape of my womb, babies are always born underweight. And he came out 8lbs 15oz! We are praising God always for this miracle and know that His hand is over this pregnancy. We expect miracles!

Tea and coffee etc...

So while I'm not overly wild about coffee currently, I'll still have the odd cup. And I still enjoy tea! I am in shock. In both my previous pregnancies, tea and coffee were the first things I went off. This one, not so. I'm not complaining, after all, I will be most pregnant through the winter months therefore will require occasional hot drinks.

This pregnancy has been amazing so far. Granted I'm only 6 weeks or so but at this point in the last ones, I felt rough as. God has been good. I've been very tired but not enough that I can't have fun with Josiah. I'm thankful that he's flexible enough to have time out with me sometimes if I literally don't have the energy. For example, the other day (yes, I know it's only end of August) as it was cold, rainy and miserable outside we sat on the sofa with our cups of tea and a biscuit watching The Snowman (his choice). It was just lovely! So even if there are days where my back is a little jippy, we can still share lovely moments like that.

A contradiction in terms...

John came home tonight and asked how I was. I replied; 'I'm feeling so sick, I've been stuffing my face all evening'.

You really do wonder sometimes...

Copycat...

This pregnancy has been sooo similar to when I was expecting Josiah it's just bizarre. Very comforting but so strange how alike.

Example #1: in the evenings, come 7pm, I have been feeling freezing cold. As in, I have to get our big, fluffy throw cold, while wearing a jumper etc. It's not right. While we were lounging on the sofa one evening, I had a 'eureka' moment, in which I remembered I had exactly the same 'problem' early on with Josiah. I can't even explain why it happens, it's just one of those things. Amusing.

Example #2: I had another 'eureka' moment while we were in the car on the way to swim one evening. I have been ever so slightly jumpy, for want of a better word, wherever we drive. Not just in our car either. No offence to anyone at all, but this is my other weird pregnancy thing. I get incredibly nervous in cars!! I was convinced that John was about to plough straight into the parked car as we were heading down the road or drive straight into an island on the way to swimming.

Danica Patrick...

Otherwise known as the hormones racing around my body. (Danica Patrick is an American racing car driver). It's been crazy to say the least. In my last two pregnancies, I wasn't anywhere near as highly strung/unhinged as I have been in this one. It's been pretty tiring to be honest. It's amusing in the grand scheme of things I suppose. Poor John. Tiredness has been pretty much as pregnancy would have it; very tired all the time, waking up feeling as if I've slept five minutes, you know the score. I'm grateful that Josiah still has a good nap in the day and he's happy to go down morning or afternoon so I can sort of pick and choose, depending on whether I can or can't keep my eyes open.

I feel so calm about this pregnancy. Even though I'm supposed to see my midwife every other week (a lot of hassle but I wouldn't have it any other way - I just love babies and talking about babies and producing babies!!) as this pregnancy is classed high-risk, that doesn't bother me in any way shape or form. So I'm thankful and grateful to God for giving us such peace and faith in Him about everything.

Josiah...

The little treasure.

One of the reasons I knew I was pregnant was his sudden fascination with my stomach. It's eerie really. The day I found out, I was slouching on the sofa and he was running around the living room. All of a sudden, he stopped, slowly walked over and lifted my top up as if he thought I was hiding something. Then he pulled it back down very quickly, then lifted it again. Then he poked my tummy with one finger. Then pushed on it with his whole hand. Then starting banging my tummy with his hands, put his face against it and ran off.

Funny one.

Something to share...

We are thrilled to share with our wonderful family and friends that we have a baby on the way! This announcement has been sitting in my drafts on this blog since 4 weeks and I have been busting to tell as you can imagine, but we thought it best to just check everything was OK before blabbing. Which, glory to God, it is and believe me, we will keep you very updated. We have been blessed with such joy and peace in this pregnancy and we can feel God’s hand over it so tangibly.

When we said goodbye to little Emmanuel, it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do. We knew that while God was refining us like silver (Psalm 66.10), He had bigger plans that were better for us than our ideas. He sometimes uses events like we experienced to reveal things. One of the things He revealed through surgery after the delivery of Emmanuel, was the weird shape of my uterus. It’s called a bicornuate uterus (or a heart shaped womb – when the consultant told me this, I swooned and thought it must be prophetic. Hahaha!) Instead of it being pear shaped, it’s shaped slightly like a rams head, with two horn shaped bits at the top so the success of pregnancies is purely dependant on where the baby implants. There's nothing that can be done as it's congenital BUT God overrules. Always. Just as He has shown this year.